Goal Getter

I’ve followed the same holiday routine for the last few years. I like to save a few days of vacation to use in between Christmas and New Years because this time has become critical to my self care. Not only do I get “me time” so I can catch up on sleep and my to-be-read list, but I also get to reset myself and make goals for who I want to be in the new year.

A couple of years ago, one of my bigger goals was to get into better shape. When I was in college, it was very easy to find time to go to the gym. But once I got my first job and was working ten hour days, I found myself lacking the motivation to be consistent with exercise, so I did what I always do: I wrote it down so that I could speak the goal into existence. The first day after the holiday, I set my alarm to beat the sun. I start work by 6 am, so in order to have time to exercise, shower and eat before work, I really had to get up early. Setting that alarm was painful, but not quite as painful as actually getting out of bed. Still a little sleepy, I stepped into the blustery wind that January morning and went to the gym. The actual exercising itself wasn’t so bad. Once I was doing it, I was kind of excited (cue those endorphins) and afterwards, as I sat down to eat some breakfast, I was so proud that I ‘did the thing!’

Oh, how optimistic Day 1 Jamie was, because as the week wore on, I continued to lose enthusiasm. By the time Friday rolled around, I was in the habit of snoozing. While I still got up to exercise, it wasn’t for nearly as long as I had done earlier in the week. Fast forward to Monday, my alarm went off and I said to myself, “You can take a day off! Mondays are always hard.” But, my one Monday hiatus quickly spiraled into more days here and there, until eventually I abandoned the goal entirely.

As a slightly more “adulty” adult now, I realize the error in my ways. Realistically, if you have no fitness routine, it’s unlikely that you are going to wake up on January 2nd and suddenly be a gym bro, just because you made it a resolution. And, sure, there are some people who can and have done this. I know I’ve seen my fair share of inspirational and motivational videos of people doing just that. They completely transform their lives. To those people, I say a sincere congratulations and believe that to be very admirable. But, I would argue that the majority of people are in the same boat as me. Approximately 12.5% of all new gym memberships are initiated in January of each year, but within five months, 80% of newbies will quit.

This “all in” mentality for goals and the resulting actions does not only apply to fitness. Think of the different aspects of your life: financial, emotional, and spiritual wellness. Same with career development and aspirations, as well as relationship planning. I think that the key to success is to make attainable goals. Your goals have to be actionable. I like to think about it in terms of a formula or recipe. The recipe has to be just right so you can balance achieving your big goals, while remaining authentic to yourself. The end reward is the new and improved version of yourself.

What I love about thinking of goals this way, is that you have more room to reach milestones along the way. Not to beat the drum too much on a fitness example, but say your end goal is to run a marathon. Right now, you don’t really run at all. Occasionally, you do if the weather is cooperating or you need to blow off some steam. Instead of saying, tomorrow I’m going to wake up and start running miles upon miles, you instead set smaller goals for yourself which build into the larger end goal. Think how motivating it would be to celebrate reaching five miles, and then ten miles, a half marathon, 20 miles and there you go crossing that finish line! That allows you to be successful, but also provides the grace of being human.

I have a very wise friend who once said “brushing your teeth for 20 seconds is still better than not brushing them at all.” We weren’t actually talking about dental hygiene that day, he’s just very philosophical. But, so true, and that really stuck with me. Shout out to Dave, if he is reading this. Any movement in the right direction is still movement, big or small. Again though, this can be applied to any goal. For most of us, we aren’t going to become independently wealthy tomorrow. The chance of you hitting the Powerball or Mega Millions is about 1 in 300 million. That’s pretty bleak. But, I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t play the lottery. I’m just saying, it would probably work more in your favor to put into practice a savings plan (ex. I’m going to put away X amount of money from each paycheck) that could include an allowance for lottery tickets.

I’ve also started incorporating “doing something scary” into my yearly resolution list. In 2023, that was the first year I wrote it down, so I challenged myself to do that at least once a month. And by scary, I mean doing something that I have always wanted to do but was afraid to, or even doing something that just seemed slightly out of character for me. I need to preface this by saying that if you adopt this “doing something scary” practice too, please don’t be reckless to the point that you could cause lasting harm to yourself. Instead, really challenge yourself to think, “who could I be on the other side of this fear?” Maybe that’s telling a person how you really feel about them. That’s scary. You can’t control how the other person will react. Best case scenario, they feel the same way and you blossom into a beautiful partnership. Less ideal scenario, they say, “no, thanks.” It hurts, but you still win. That frees you up to heal and move on to someone who will be excited about you.

I also really like to come up with a word or phrase to live by and let guide me as I work through my resolutions in the new year. This is something Sami and I have been doing since we were in college. I particularly vibe when the phrase or word rhymes with the year. So, this year will be 2024 and my word is MORE. I saw so much growth in myself in 2023 and I really just want to expand on that next year. However, I’ve been flip-floppin’ back and forth. Should I challenge myself to do something scary once a week instead of once a month? MORE. But, again, I don’t know if I need to go that hard with it or if I just need to commit to engaging more. I want the scary situations to come up organically. I don’t want to be looking for ‘danger’ (lol), because that’s how you come upon discouragement.

The last thing I will recommend to you as you sit down to make your resolutions is to add some pictures to your physical list. What do you want your life to look like? Keeping that list and pictures handy can really help remind you what you are working towards. I love doing this because it reminds me of Pinterest- it’s like a giant vision board. But, I’m a visual learner, so this is something I have found to be helpful. You can become what you imagine.

Anyway, get to it. Make your resolutions. I hope you all have a happy, healthy and safe holidays! I’d love to hear your word/phrase for 2024, so please share if you are so inclined. May you reach all your goals and I’ll see you all on the other side.