Don’t Miss The Exit
The company where I work my “day job” has an initiative to improve diversity, equity and inclusion. As part of their efforts, they will often invite guest speakers from outside companies to lead thought-provoking seminars on all types of topics. Since June is Pride Month, they brought in a speaker who is a leader in her field, a company CEO and an active voice in the LGBTQIA+ community. When I got the calendar invite, I was very excited to listen to the presentation. First, I’m always up for a good story. I love hearing about people and their experiences. Second, I thought she might be a good role model because she is a woman in a senior leadership position. While the percentage of female CEO’s continues to grow, women in leadership roles are still underrepresented. Lastly, the speaker offered a web address for people to anonymously submit questions for her, and I wanted to know her thoughts on meaningful allyship.
Her talk was everything you could have expected. It was emotional and insightful. She shared with us the fact that she personally realized she was interested in dating women, in the same year that the APA (American Psychiatric Association) enacted a resolution that stated that homosexuality was not a mental illness. In my ignorance, I never realized that homosexuality was at any point considered a mental illness. I’ve heard people, particularly those who have certain religious convictions, make the argument that homosexuality is a “choice,” but the classification as a disorder was new to me. I won’t get into a debate here with you about this- if you believe that it is a choice, I’m not sure this post is for you. Maybe if you keep reading, I can change your mind. But, this struck me because I kept thinking how lonely and isolating it must have felt for her and other people in the community, to have this quality about themselves that they can’t change, be considered an illness.
The rest of her talk touched on the importance of allyship and growth in company culture to create an inclusive environment so that everyone can feel safe to be themselves. Imagine your straight coworker tells a story about their spouse. A coworker or friend in a homosexual relationship should feel just as safe to share a story about their partner. That’s the human experience. She shared another memory about how a coworker came up to her and expressed his gratitude that she was so open about topics surrounding LGBTQIA+. He said that all of the changes she had enacted made him feel comfortable to share that his son was homosexual. The whole time he had worked at that company, he would tell stories implying that his son was straight, because he was fearful of how his colleagues might react. No one should have to live in secret. If you read our last blog post, we talked about how sexuality is just one piece of who a person truly is in the grand scheme, but that still doesn’t mean that it’s not important.
I was feeling energized by her presentation and then it was time for the Q&A. I logged onto the site to submit questions and I notice one in particular. It was posted two hours before the talk was even scheduled to begin. I’m paraphrasing here but the commenter basically said, “I’m always kind to people so I don’t know why we have to have this woke agenda shoved in our face continuously.” Insert face palm here. You missed the point completely. You passed the exit, it was several miles down the highway. It’s not an agenda. People just want equality, which based on the comment, you can tell does not exist everywhere. Not everyone is kind. And it’s telling that the person felt the need to log on before even hearing what the presenter had to say to leave that comment. I also want to note here that attendance at these presentations is not mandatory.
Now think about this: if you had to hide a part of your identity every single day, what impact do you think that would have on your mental health? According to a study conducted by The Trevor Project, nearly 45% of LGBTQ youth seriously considered attempting suicide in the last year. As if adolescence is not confusing and hard enough, LGBTQ youth often have another layer of not being supported at home or in school. And clearly, based on everything we learned above, this is not just a problem for youths. That’s one thing people of all situations hear when they go through hardship; “it’ll be better when you’re older.” Think of the Edwin McCain hit, “I’ll Be.” But, that’s not true if people around you are not willing to be honest in their pursuit of education and personal growth.
NAMI (The National Alliance on Mental Health) shared a similar sentiment with their campaign “Mental Health Without Conditions.” They found that “LGBTQ+ people face higher risks of mental health conditions and suicide. Bullying, hate crimes, discrimination and lack of access to mental health care contribute to these disparities.” The discrimination doesn’t even have to be outright. It could be as ‘sneaky’ as a microaggression. One example could be commenting on how someone doesn’t look like what you would expect a gay person to look like. The point that I’m trying to make here is that if you are not apart of the LGBTQIA+ community, will you commit to being an ally? It could be as simple as not leaving a sassy comment on a message board for a presentation you haven’t seen yet. It could be listening to a friend tell a story about their life with an open mind. Or, you could be as active as volunteering your time with organizations. If you are a part of the LGBTQIA+ community, I hope you’ll continue to look for those people who make you feel comfortable to be yourself. Look for your Supermoon. They’re out there, I promise. May the future continue to get brighter and more colorful!
Mental health struggles are not discriminatory. They can effect all types of people. Old, young, gay, straight, you name it. Those struggles even defy religion. That’s one topic Sami and I can honestly say we relate to, and that’s why we wrote our song “Hello, Friend.” You can listen to it here.
Here are some resources if you need a little help:
Happy Pride Month!
Jamie